Sunday, November 8, 2009

It's at hours like this that you realize your life will never be the same. You wake up, can't go back to sleep because all you can do is think of your child that will never be here with you on earth ever again. You will never hear her laugh, never get a kiss or a hug, never have an argument. Then your eyes fill with tears and the "why" starts coming in your head. And why can't you have just one dream of her saying to you that she is ok. I have had other dreams but never this one telling me not to worry and that things are good. In other dreams she may be off to the side but I am very aware she is dead and the word dead has been said. I just want God to allow me to have one dream telling me she is with him and doing just fine or for Him to allow her in my dreams and reassure me that she is happy and doing well. I miss her so much!

1 comment:

  1. Right after the murder of my mother I had the most horrific nightmares you can imagine. I suppose it didn't help it was my father but I have never gotten the images out of my head. I try but they sneak in. It's very normal. I went to therapy for a while for PTSD and my shrink told me I was more normal than most. I just had bad memories that look very real whether in dream state or real time. Over time, they have quieted a bit. But I still have them. I just start praying to be honest with you. Pray, pray pray.

    Hugs friend.